One more thing and then I'll probably let this go for good and move into the future:

The quiet. Wait...the QUIET. I was born after planes were commonplace. I have never had the pleasure of cocking an ear to the heavens to hear nothing. I've been camping in some remote spots and the silence of nature has ALWAYS been cut by the hum of a plane or a helicopter. Even when I couldn't see the aircraft I could hear it.

The day after the attack and continuing for about a week there were no aircraft. It was so QUIET. In the beginning I missed it. The silence after an entire lifetime of planes flying overhead, a kind of white noise that blends in and is a part of everything. Then I got use to the QUIET and to the clear sky. I was actually irritated when the aircraft were allowed to return to the skies.

I don't think I'll ever forget that week of QUIET and I hope I never hear it again.

Yes, another September 11, 2001 notation:

My significant other and I were laying in the dark last night, discussing the EVENT. We were talking about that first night after the attack. All air flight of any kind had been cancelled indefinately. We were up quite late talking about the EVENT with our children and when we finally went to sleep it was a light sleep, the kind a new mother experiences as she keeps one ear open for the cries of her newborn.

Around 3:30 a.m. here on the Pacific Coast, I woke up rather suddenly. I heard a sound. I heard a plane. Very early in the morning. The day after the EVENT. When ALL flights had been grounded indefinately. I have never felt fear like that before or since. I remember wondering what a plane was doing in the air. Where was the pilot headed and was this a friendly if ignorant pilot or was I going to hear (or later read about) the explosion?

I finally fell asleep again long after the drone of the engines faded.

The next morning our local radio program mentioned the early morning flight, letting all the listeners know that a supply plane had been sent out in the wee hours. They also included an apology from the Armed Services for any panic they may have caused.

Nice of them to let us in on it.

I have given great thought to the question: "What in your life has changed since September 11, 2001?"

I have checked out several blogs on the topic - the general concensus among bloggers is this: "It happened. It's over. Move on."

I ask - how can one move on, if one didn't know where one was to begin with? And to the comment: "It's over!" I reply - Bullshit.

It wasn't over before it happened and it is no closer to closure than it was a year ago. Every day a bus, or a car or a person blows up Afghanistan or a surrounding city. EVERY DAY.

I remember a few months ago, my husband telling me a bus was missing from the Los Angeles Public Bus company - RTD. I thought, So? And then he said one word: Terrorists. And I felt fear. That sucks. It's not over.

It will be different though. I taught my 10 year old child how to escape from three different kinds of buses. How to use the emergency exit on a plane. How to call international numbers - just in case.

I will be different. People who act as if the acts of another nation do not directly affect the USA are ignorant. In denial. Have faith?

I know that I do not think about the ramifications on a daily basis. It comes up when people get together and need a topic. Everyone has a different opinion (really?) of how our President should be handling this thing. I wouldn't want THAT job for anything.

I decided that the things I can change involve me. My health. My future employment. My financial stats. My belief in that higher power. My kindness to others. The example I set for those who observe me.

I was told once by a very wise man that if I change one small thing about me, the world will be changed.

I have a list.