Between a Rock and Hard Place

What a rough week - in my head, at least. I slipped on Friday night, again on Saturday and once more on Sunday. I realized that if I drink more than one drink, I feel the urge to smoke. I managed to live thorugh it, for I did not indulge more than once each day. I did kill my perfect score of 53 days. Today though I have four days - no abuse of any substances.

Current List of Things to Stress On:
Lack of a Sex Drive v. Horny Husband
Smoke and Husband/Lack of Support
Oldest Son May Be Doing "H"
School Is Fun And Takes Up Time
Husband Lacking In Team Work Dept.
Youngest Son Beginning PreTeen Realm
Personal Legal Issue - Cultivation Thing and Cost of Attorney
Lying to Employer About Personal Legal Issues

Sub-Worries (Not Up to Me to Change):
- Husband/Future Employment
- Second Mode of Transportation Sits, Waiting

Until I wrote (typed) all these "worries" down, they seemed very overwhelming. It is a lot to have in my head all at once.

What Can I Change?
Lack of a Sex Drive v. Horny Husband:
- Made Doctor Appointment to Discuss Changing Medications
Smoke and Husband/Lack of Support:
- I Need To Be Strong and Explain How His Maintaining That Lifestyle is NOT Helping Me
Oldest Son May Be Doing "H":
- This May Be Rumor; I Know Asking Him is a Catch-22 - If He Is He'll Tell Me He's Not and If He's Not,...
I'll have to leave this one for God.
School Is Fun And Takes Up Time:
- School is almost over and I can stick it out.
Husband Lacking In Team Work Dept.:
- This Kind Of Goes with the Lack of Support issue; If He's Stoned, He Will Have No Desire to Pitch-In.
- I Need to Point This Out - Once Again I Am Doing 'It' All.
Youngest Son Beginning PreTeen Realm:
- Deal With it using Love, Patience, Consistency and Solid Boundaries.
Personal Legal Issue - Cultivation Thing and Cost of Attorney:
- This one is tough; I need an attorney and I really cannot afford one. I also do not feel comfortable representing myself (I am not versed in the court room procedures). This would be THE Number One Rock and A Hard Place reference.
Lying to Employer About Personal Legal Issues:
- It's Just Not Worth It To Me To Lose My Job Right Now. I'll Have To Revisit this at a Later Date.

Okay
I have put it down on paper. Now I'll have to print this one.

Have a Peaceful Night, All.