Recently I have discovered something very interesting in the way of the brain, chemical functions and a Catch-22 in sex. I currently take Celexa (40 mg), a drug for depression, which works very well in stablizing my mood. I no longer act irrationally, lashing out at complete strangers and, more importantly, at my family. I am quite a joy to be around and to know, really. I've been taking Celexa for over two years. During that time, I was also smoking a great deal of marijuana - another mood alterer - for the mellow felling; again to control ballistic tendencies. I recently quit that for reasons I may or may not have mentioned previously and are not realtive to this blog. (I've been free for over 50 days, and I even test clean - that really boosts my happy thoughts). So I began reading about what marijuana does to brain chemicals - what it increases, what it supresses...etc. so I know what to expect while withdrawing. I learned a lot about my brain and the fact that smoking the herb and taking Celexa (originally at 20mg) was counter-productive. You see, marijuana inhibits the production of Serotonin, the brain chemical that is responsible for the mood or lack thereof. Celexa increases the production of Serotonin. I have since quit the weed and increased the Serotonin. Today I read a lot about the effect of Celexa on the sex drive in women and the news was not very happy. Serotonin suppresses the effect of Dopamine, the brain chemical responsible for motivation, achievement and, yes, sex drive. (I also discovered you can experience 'pseudo-Parkinson's' due to the supressed Dopamine - because Parkinson's is brought on by dead cells that used to produce Dopamine - knowledge is power; at the very least it is enlightenment) Lately, my husband and I have been trying to connect, but, while I love him dearly and we used to have great sex, now, I am not the horny nymph for him that I once was as the Celexa, which keeps me from being the psycho bitch from venus, also keeps me from sexual desire. Yea, I could take it or leave it (sex, not the Celexa). I recently increased the dose of the Celexa from 20 mg to 40 mg (not knowing about the sex drive thing) because I had been researching Obsessive-Compulsive Disorders (after a week of tunnel-vision over a mid-term and a new database project). Seems I have that too, and one of the better ways to begin combating THAT is the increase of Serotonin. This has had an effect over my nail-biting, skin-picking and hair-pulling, and of course, killed my sex wants.

So I went over my alternatives this afternoon:
1) Stop taking the Celexa altogether, go crazy, but have sex again;
2) decrease the Celexa and see if the urge returns while I bite my nails and pull my hair;
3) speak to my psych about another drug, Lexapro, a refined Celexa introduced last September; or
4) Maybe add another drug, Wellbutrin, to the mix, while drecreasing the Celexa. "Studies show..."

Husband does not want crazy wife back - he says he's just gotten used to the 'saner' version ("If this is you sane, then let's stick with that", were his exact words). Okay, so he and I will go over the research I have compiled and I'll call Dr. Bob, set an appointment and explain all this to him, getting his opinion on what I might do.

Crazy, Man! I had no idea the brain could be so royally scrambled and still function in a semi-professional manner. At least not my brain.