Where have you been?

I've been busy.

Doin' what?

Living life, man!

No, really - whatcha been up to?

Okay, but remember YOU asked...

I am having a hard time 'letting go' of my teenagers. They have made their choices and I know the choices are hard ones and I want to save them from themselves -- and I know I can't, but my nature doesn't care...because it's in my nature to care and protect my children.

Last night I retrieved my daughter from a motel room where she's been hanging out since Sunday night. I only knew she was 'missing' when her father called me Wednesday evening, asking me if I knew 'where in the hell' our daughter might be hiding.

I went to the motel after calling a friend of hers and told her it was time to go. She assumed she was still watching her younger brother this morning (another story) and got in the van. As I pulled away I told her that I didn't need her to watch her brother after all. She freaked when I calmly told her I was taking her back to her Dad. She argued that she couldn't get in to the room and I told her, again very calmly, that he had made an extra key and it was in the front office (they also live in a motel at this time). She was silent for the rest of the thirty minute drive, only sniffling quietly. I am having a hard time because I can see the listless, directionless path she is on -- using people until they ditch her or toss her out, then moving on to the next set of people to use. It was so hard to be tough and not give in to her suffering. At the resident hotel, I reminded her that she caused her current suffering. I also told her only she could make her life better. I reminded her that getting a job would put money in her pocket. She argued that she was too far wawy from her friends, didn't like the area, why couldn't her Dad live closer to her friends - pretty much whining about her 'victim' role instead of thinking of solutions. I kept my talking brief - which is not easy for me to do - and she reached a point when my words made sense and she couldn't retort so, having heard as much as she wanted, she hid her head in a pillow and told me she didn't want to talk about this topic anymore. I told her she could hide now, but the issue wouldn't die until she did something different. Then I left, leaving her with her father. This morning I called her, as I do after we've both had some time to think, but her Dad told me she was now at her grandmother's, caring for her. He has ditched this responsibility whenever he finds the chance, so I suppose she is taking after him at this moment.

I do want my daughetr to be happy and successful and content and pleased and all that. I also know that her future is up to her. All I can do is be her parent until she's eighteen. Then I'll hear the "I'm an adult now" speech. I'll pray after that.

Other than that, my focus has been on attending to my nine year old and holding my breath between paychecks.

Hey, you asked.